Baby's got Sacks
by Owennumber1fan
Summary: An Arthur Grown Up story. A sugar baby assignment, Muffy's slumber party, and some out of town friends means hilarity for teen Arthur and pals.
1. Oh, Sugar Sugar

Arthur Grows up: Baby's Got Sacks

* * *

It was a normal day in Elwood City, but for Arthur Read and friends, it was about to get very weird. It all began earlier that day when Ms. Stuart offered a new assignment to the class.

"Today class, you're going to learn about responsibility" the bear woman said "you'll be divided into teams and given a bag of sugar to watch over. I want you to treat it as you would a baby. At the end of the week, each of you will report how well you cared for your bag."

Alan's hand shot up "excuse me, but is this something we really need to learn?" he asked "most students are not required to perform this exercise until health class in high school."

"Very true" Ms. Stuart replied "but with our educational system the way it is, we've been forced to move up our curriculum. That's why your math class now teaches calculus."

"Oh, I thought it was an insidious government plot to melt our brains so they can refashion us into loyal zombie slaves" Buster explained.

"O-kay" Ms. Stuart said, phased by the boys reply "anyway, the teams are, Arthur Read and…Sue Ellen Armstrong."

"Yes!" Sue Ellen said happily, before noticing most of her class was looking at her "I mean, oh goody."

"Francine Frensky and Alan Powers."

"All right, this will be a snap" Francine commented.

"Muffy Crosswire and Robert Dawes."

"You must be joking" Muffy replied.

"Fern Walters and Troy Molton."

"Hey, that kid has the same name as me" Troy commented.

"That's because he is you" Ms. Stuart replied.

"Oh, radical."

"Jenna Morgan & George Lundgren."

"Looks like we're together sweetie pie" Jenna said.

"Penny Shields and Buster Baxter."

"Not Buster Ms. Stuart, he's the laziest kid in class" Penny whined "my grade point average will decrease just sitting next to him. Couldn't I have Alan instead, and let Francine have Buster?"

"Forget it, I've worked with Buster before and I'm not doing it again" Francine countered.

"There will be no switching of partners" Ms. Stuart replied.

"Um, Ms. Stuart" Binky said "me and Leonard don't have any partners, and there's no girls left."

"Then I guess the two of you will simply have to work together."

"But, we're two guys."

"So?"

"Two guys can't raise a baby. It's unnatural."

"Actually, that's not true" Leonard explained "for example, the orc species has few females, so its' not uncommon to see orc males raise the offspring."

"Yeah, but orcs don't exist doofus" Binky replied.

"I believe the analogy could be carried over to other races as well" Leonard said "mud trolls, for example, are asexual…"

"There will be no discussion of reproduction in this classroom" Ms. Stuart said "at least not until we receive permission from parents to teach it. Now remember, the two of you must share the responsibility of this bag; work out a schedule for each of you to care for it. One of you cannot do the whole report, or you will lose credit."

"How are you going to know if we do?" Binky asked.

"I'll know, trust me" Ms. Stuart said "now, come up and get your bags."

* * *

"This is a pretty weird assignment, huh?" Arthur asked Sue Ellen, as they walked down the halls.

"I don't think so, in fact, I think it'll be kind of fun" she replied "and how lucky was it that we got each other as partners?"

"Well, we are boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Exactly" Sue Ellen replied "so this baby thing will be a snap. Okay, I'll keep it first, and then you can come over to my house later and pick it up."

"No problem" Arthur said "I have soccer practice later anyway."

Sue Ellen looked down at the bag of sugar she held in her arms "I think I'll call you Susie."

* * *

Later that day, Arthur met Buster, Alan, Binky, & George on the soccer field.

"You guys ready to play?" Binky asked.

"One second, I need to take care of my baby first" George said, setting his bag of sugar down on a nearby bench "okay, he should be safe there."

"Hey Georgiana, don't you want to change into your skirt too?" Binky asked, with the other boys joining him in laughing.

"Very funny you guys, but this assignment is very important" George replied "and I don't want to let Jenna down."

"Man, you are so whipped" Binky said "you do whatever Jenna says."

"Says the guy with no girlfriend" George countered.

"I could get a girlfriend if I wanted" Binky replied "I just don't want to."

"Well you'll never see me with a girl" Buster said "they're nothing more than leeches, draining men of their youth and money, then leaving them shriveled, dried up husks!" Then he noticed the stare that Arthur was giving him "well okay, not all of them. Seriously Arthur, congrats on snagging Sue Ellen, she's a catch."

"Uh huh" Arthur replied disbelievingly "let's just play already."

* * *

In the next chapter, two familiar old friends from out of town come to visit.


	2. Baby, you so crazy

After soccer practice, Arthur made the trek to his girlfriend's house to pick up the sugar baby. When he arrived, a familiar face was sitting on the front steps.

"Hi Arthur."

"Hi Lisa…Lisa?" Arthur did a double take "what are you doing here?"

"Sue Ellen said I could come and visit whenever I wanted."

"Yeah, but we just saw you last week" Arthur replied.

"What can I say, I was bored" Lisa replied.

Just then, the door opened and Sue Ellen came out.

"Hi snookums" she said, "guess what, Lisa and I are going to make a movie for the Sundance film festival. Isn't that exciting?"

"I made one years ago and it did very well" Lisa explained "I thought Sue Ellen might like to help this time."

"Snookums?" Arthur asked, ignoring Lisa.

"It's a new term of endearment I thought I'd try out" Sue Ellen said "do you like it?"

"Not really."

"Okay then, I'll never use it again."

"So anyway, what's you movie about?" Arthur asked.

"Well, we don't have a story quite yet" Sue Ellen explained "but when we do, it will be great, rest assured."

"Well, glad to hear it" Arthur said "I'm here for the baby."

"Of course, hold on" Sue Ellen said, as she retreated back inside the house. A few minutes later, another familiar face came to the door.

"Lisa, I'm bored" Maggie whined.

"Maggie, you said if I agreed to bring you, that you wouldn't complain" Lisa replied.

"And you said they'd have cool stuff to do" Maggie countered.

A few minutes later, Sue Ellen came out of the house, walking past Maggie in the doorway, and handed Arthur the sugar bag "there you go."

"Thanks, I'll…" Arthur began, until he looked at the bag he was holding. Sue Ellen had added a cardboard face to it, and glued some orange colored cotton to the top to simulate hair.

"Um, looks like you made a few…changes to the bag" he commented.

"Yeah, I thought it would look more like a baby this way" Sue Ellen explained "and Ms. Stuart never said we couldn't." Then she leaned down towards the bag "you be good for daddy, okay Susie?"

"You named it?" Arthur asked.

"Sure, why not?" Sue Ellen replied, before turning back to the bag "mommy is gonna miss her widdle Susie, yes she is, yes she is."

"Okay, well, I gotta get home for dinner, so I'll see you tomorrow" Arthur said, still a little creeped out by his girlfriend's previous display.

"Okay, see you tomorrow sweetie" Sue Ellen said, giving him a kiss on the cheek, before turning her attention to the sugar bag "and mommy will see you tomorrow, widdle Susie" she said.

"Well, bye" Arthur said, running off down the street as fast as he could.

* * *

A few minutes later, Arthur arrived at his house, and hoped to dump the bag in his room until the next morning. He was still a little shaken by what happened at Sue Ellen's house.

_I understand that we're supposed to act as if the sugar is a baby _he thought _but I think Sue Ellen is taking things a little too far. Or maybe I'm getting all worked up over nothing. I'm sure things will be back to normal by tomorrow. _

"Hey Arthur, what you got there?" D.W. asked, rousing him from his line of thought.

"Just a bag of sugar" Arthur explained "I have to take care of it for a school assignment."

"Your class sure has dumb assignments" D.W. replied "let me see it."

"No, it's mine!" Arthur said, but D.W. grabbed it away from him.

"Why'd you make it look like Sue Ellen?"

"She did that" Arthur explained "we're caring for it together and she had it first. When I picked it up, she had decorated it like that."

"Ooooh, Arthur & Sue Ellen have a baby" D.W. mocked.

"We do not, knock it off!"

"You're going to love your baby, and feed it, and change its' diaper, and…" D.W. continued, before getting a quick glance at her watch. "Well, time for me to watch TV. I'll be back to mock you later Arthur" she added, as she walked off.

Arthur then made it up to his room and shut the door. After lying down on his bed, he held the sugar in front of him.

"Well little guy, it's just you and me for now" he said "welcome to your home until tomorrow. I can't believe I just talked to a bag of sugar."

* * *

Later that evening, the Read family was enjoying dinner, when D.W. chose to point out an unwelcome visitor.

"Mom, how come Arthur can bring his bag of sugar to the table but I can't bring my Kim Probable doll?" she asked.

"Because, the sugar bag is an assignment for school, your doll is not" Mrs. Read replied.

"So if my doll was a school assignment, I could have it at the table?"

"Of course, although I doubt that will happen" Mrs. Read explained.

"Drat."

"I'm very proud of how well you're handling this Arthur" Mrs. Read said "I had to the sugar baby thing when I was younger, although I didn't do it till high school. Anyway, it was one of my favorite experiences, and was very influential in helping me raise you three."

"And it was lucky for you to get Sue Ellen as your partner" Mr. Read added "the bond between you will only make your assignment easier."

"I think Ms. Stuart planned it that way" Arthur said "but, I don't know, I wish Sue Ellen had consulted me first before she made all these changes."

"She's just getting into the project" Mrs. Read explained "I was the same way when I did my project, and I freaked out my partner too."

"Thanks mom, that makes me feel better" Arthur said.

"If I had a bag of flour baby, I'd name it D.W. jr." D.W. said proudly.

"It's a bag of sugar, not flour."

"Whatever. All I know is, my baby would be the greatest ever, better than everyone else's babies."

"You do realize it's not real, right?" Arthur asked.

"Why do you always have to ruin my fantasies?" D.W. wondered.

* * *

In the next chapter, learn how the others are raising their babies. Plus, Sue Ellen & Lisa get started on their film.


	3. Get a Move on the Movie

The next day came, and, over at the Armstrong residence, Sue Ellen was as giddy as a schoolgirl. Which is fitting, since she is one.

"Oh boy, I can't wait to meet up with Arthur" she said excitedly, as she combed her hair "then he'll give me back little Susie. I missed her all night."

"Who is Susie?" came a young voice.

Sue Ellen turned and noticed her adopted panda brother Tenzin standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

"Oh, that's what I named the bag of sugar me and Arthur are taking care of" she explained "it's a project for school."

"Your American schools certainly have weird projects" Tenzin replied.

"Wait till you get to be my age, then they only get weirder" Sue Ellen replied. When she was done combing, she produced her scrunchies and put her hair into the familiar tufts. Then she left the bathroom and headed downstairs.

* * *

Soon the kids arrived at Lakewood and Sue Ellen sought out her boyfriend.

"Hey Sue Ellen."

"Hi sweetie, great to see you" Sue Ellen said, hugging him "is little Susie okay?"

"It's fine" Arthur said, not wanting to call the bag by name. He was cradling it in his arms, when Sue Ellen began to drool over it.

"Aww, did widdle Susie miss her mommy? I know mommy missed widdle Susie, yes she did, yes she did."

"Here, you can take her" Arthur said, handing off the sugar bag to a delighted Sue Ellen.

"Got your nose" Sue Ellen said happily, pretending to grab a fake nose while Arthur looked on, dumbfounded. Thankfully, Muffy came by before things got too weird.

"What a cute baby."

"Thanks, I call her Susie" Sue Ellen replied "how about you?"

"Mine is Chastity Crosswire" Muffy said "she's going to grow up to be a rich debutante, provided she's not spoiled by the bad influence of her father."

"Yo Muff, what you talkin' 'bout, I'm a great baby daddy" Tony said, upon walking over.

"Listen to me you, 'gangsta' or whatever the heck you're called these days" Muffy began "I am not going to get a bad grade on this report because of you. So you'd better not cause me to fail, or I'll sue you so much you really will live on the street, understand?!"

"Chillax Muff, I got this" Tony said "I don't want a bad grade neither."

"Well, I'm glad that's settled" Muffy said "now then, let's get to class."

Arthur & Sue Ellen watched the pair head into the school.

"I am so glad we didn't get either of them as our partners" Arthur said.

"Ditto."

* * *

After they went into school, Sue Ellen soon ran into several of the other girls, who were taking care of their "babies."

"Hey Fern, how's the assignment going?"

"It could be better, if my partner wasn't spaced out all the time" Fern said "luckily, little Agatha is okay in my hands."

"Well I haven't found any problems with Alan" Francine replied.

"You're lucky" Penny said "last night, I had to call Buster at least 10 times to check up on the baby. Honestly, that boy does not know what he is doing."

"Penny called me at least 10 times last night" Buster said to Arthur over at their lockers "so if I'm a little tired today, that's why."

"Hey guys" Binky said, as he approached the lockers with his baby in tow.

"Hey Binky" Arthur said "how's it been raising that kid with Leonard?"

"Better than I thought, actually" Binky said "that guy may be a nerd, but he has all these neat ideas about raising kids. Maybe there's something to all that sci-fi mumbo jumbo after all."

"Can I switch with you?" Buster asked "my partner is driving me crazy!"

"Sorry, but little Thelonious is happy with his two daddies."

"You named him Thelonious?" Alan enquired.

"Yup, after the jazz great" Binky replied "Leonard was cool with it. Apparently, it was exotic enough of a name to suit his tastes."

"Is it just me, or are all of the girls really into this?" Arthur asked.

"I'm not sure exactly what you mean" Alan replied "Francine is 'into' the assignment, so much as it gets her a good grade, but no more than that."

"Well Sue Ellen has been taking this baby thing overboard" Arthur said "she treats it like it was a real child. Yesterday, she talked to it in baby talk."

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about" Alan explained "girls have natural maternal instincts, and Sue Ellen is simply projecting hers onto this surrogate child."

"Well it's really freaking me out!" Arthur replied.

* * *

And it only freaked him more at lunch, when Sue Ellen attempted to "feed" the child.

"Come on baby Susie, don't you want your milk?" she asked, holding a bottle to its' "mouth" "Arthur, something's wrong. Susie won't drink her milk."

"Sue Ellen, she doesn't have a mouth" Arthur explained.

"Maybe she has a cold" Sue Ellen said, feeling the top of the bag "hmm, no fever. Maybe she needs to be burped." She held the bag over her shoulder and patted it a few times, then held it back in front of her "there you are, all better."

"Fern, will you please tell her to knock it off" Arthur said.

"I think it's cute" Fern replied "if you have a problem with it, you tell her."

"I see what you mean Arthur, that's pretty scary" Buster commented.

"Exactly" Arthur replied "and everytime I try to explain it to her, she just ignores me."

"Attention all" Muffy said, ignoring everything that was going on "I just wanted to announce that my annual slumber party is this weekend. As usual, only girls are invited."

"That's just mean Muffy" Buster retorted "why don't you ever invite any of us guys?"

"Originally, it was because I thought you were icky" Muffy explained "but now I do it for much more practical reasons. If I invited guys, I'd constantly have to be looking out for, well, 'hanky panky'. Think about it; a house full of teenage girls in pajamas, plenty of closets and bedrooms, you do the math. I'm just trying to keep everyone pure."

"I just want the food" Buster explained.

"Well, you're still not coming."

* * *

Later that day, after dropping Susie off at Arthur's house, Sue Ellen went back to her house to brainstorm movie ideas with Lisa.

"Do you really think we can do this?" Sue Ellen asked "making a movie is a big deal."

"Maybe, but I made one about my family once, and it proved to be quite successful" Lisa said "and with our two minds working together, there's nothing we can't do. Why, we could create the next _Juno _or _Slumdog Millionaire. _Just think of it."

And so Sue Ellen did.

* * *

"Tonight's Top 10 list; the Top 10 possible job ideas for Sarah Palin" said an anthropomorphized David Letterman "and here to read the list are the creators of the latest hit independent film, Lisa Simpson & Sue Ellen Armstrong."

The two girls then entered the stage in applause, dressed in formal wear.

"Excuse me, Mr. Letterman" Lisa began "but when we created our movie, we hoped it to use it to send a message, and teach others about intolerance and cruelty. This was not the recognition we hoped for."

"Plus this list doesn't make any sense" Sue Ellen added "some of these are plugs for current movies or slams on Regis Philbin."

"Guests are not allowed to criticize the list" David replied.

* * *

"Anyway, our movie needs to be about a big time social issue, hopefully one that we can bring attention too" Lisa said, bringing Sue Ellen out of her daydream. "Hmm, didn't you mention that your adopted Tibetan brother is staying here?"

Sue Ellen nodded "my parents figured he'd be safer here, what with recent events in China."

"And isn't it true that Binky has an adopted Chinese sister?"

"Yes."

Lisa rubbed her hands with glee "I think I have an idea for our movie."

"Um, you're acting like a mad scientist who just created a monster" Sue Ellen said worriedly.

"Sorry, I'm a little excited" Lisa explained "now, here's my idea…"

* * *

In the next chapter, the girls begin filming their movie. And an old friend pops up with a new obsession.


	4. Of Films and Vampires

After Lisa explained her idea, Sue Ellen went to visit Binky to borrow Mei-Lin for the shoot. As she headed down the street, she spotted a familiar face.

"Hey Prunella, I haven't seen you since you started going to high school."

"Oh, hey Sue Ellen" Prunella replied, hardly looking up from the book she was reading.

"Must be a pretty interesting book you've got there" Sue Ellen commented "what is it?"

"Only the greatest book ever!" Prunella said happily "it's one of the Nightfall series of books."

"Are those the books about the girl that falls in love with a vampire?"

"Uh huh" Prunella replied "they're my new favorite book series. And the vampire guy in the books is so hunky, sigh, I wish I had a vampire boyfriend."

"I don't know, that sounds kind of crazy" Sue Ellen added "wouldn't he try to suck your blood all the time?"

"Not if he loved you" Prunella explained "I'm telling you Sue Ellen, a vampire would make the best boyfriend. These books practically say so. Haven't you ever wondered what Arthur would be like as a vampire?"

"Arthur as a vampire? Hmmm" Sue Ellen pondered.

* * *

Sue Ellen was sleeping in her bed, when she heard a knocking sound coming from the window. After being roused from her slumber, she looked and saw Arthur, flying and wearing a dark cape outside.

"Arthur?" she asked, opening the window "what happened to you?"

"I'm a vampire now" Arthur said, as he flew into the room and landed down next to her.

"Why?"

"I hear it makes me more attractive" Arthur explained "what do you think?"

"Actually, I do find myself strangely overcome with desire for you" Sue Ellen replied.

"Then come into my embrace" Arthur said, drawing Sue Ellen closer in his cape. As the girl neared him, Arthru bared his vampire fangs and made a move for her neck.

"Hi-ya!"

Sue Ellen delivered a powerful chop to his nose, temporarily disorienting him, and allowing her to kick him in the chest.

"You may be my boyfriend and a handsome vampire, but nobody sucks my blood unless I want them to!" Sue Ellen replied angrily.

* * *

"Sorry Prunella, but I like Arthur just the way he is"

"Okay, but when I get a handsome vampire boyfriend, don't come crying to me."

"Believe me, I won't" Sue Ellen replied "see you later."

* * *

Soon, Lisa & Sue Ellen were all set up and were filming their movie.

"I do not understand why we can't be friends Wao-Ling" Tenzin said.

"I wish we could, but my cruel, oppressive, could stop genocide in Darfur but chooses not to, regime says I can't be seen with you" Mei-Lin replied.

"Why can our two countries simply put aside their problems and live in peace?" Tenzin asked.

"I do not know" Mei-Lin replied "hopefully, my leaders will learn the error of their ways and once again restore auto…auto…"

"Autonomy" Lisa said from off camera.

"Automoney to Tibet" Mei-Lin replied "I'm sorry, but what is that? Money for cars?"

"No, it means China will acknowledge Tibet as being a separate country and will no longer hold it under its' oppressive reign" Lisa explained.

"Can we rest please?" Mei-Lin asked "this script is hard to read."

"Okay, take five" Lisa said.

"Lisa, I don't mean to be rude, but I think you're being very hard on China in this movie" Sue Ellen explained "they have some problems, no question, but you're being a little heavy handed."

"Look, I've been to China and had a good time there, but there are a number of social problems China could fix, but chooses not to, or ignores outright" Lisa told her "perhaps I'm being a bit heavy handed, but that's the way to reach the masses."

"Well, I'm still proud of this movie, despite the fact that we filmed most of it in my backyard and have only four actors" Sue Ellen said.

"Speaking of which, you take the camera" Lisa said "I need to prepare for my role as the Chinese military official."

* * *

Next time, more hi-jinks with Arthur & Sue Ellen's baby, culminating with the cat girl making a startling admission.


	5. Big Baby Blowup

"So, how's that movie of yours coming along?" Arthur asked, as he and Sue Ellen walked to school the next day.

"Great, we finished it" Sue Ellen replied "which is amazing, since it cost us virtually nothing."

"How could you make a movie with no budget?" Arthur asked.

"It's pretty easy when you use my backyard for the setting, build cheap props and use kids as actors."

"Good point. So, Muffy's slumber party is tonight, are you excited?"

"Of course, Muffy throws the best slumber parties" Sue Ellen said "you know, I bet Lisa would love to come. I just hope I can get her in."

"Just ask Muffy" Arthur suggested "knowing her, she'd love another person at her party."

"Okay, I will."

* * *

A few minutes later, Sue Ellen met up with Muffy at her locker.

"I know this is really last minute, but I was wondering if Lisa Simpson could come to your party" she asked "she's in town visiting, as you know, and I'm sure she'd have a great time."

"Of course" Muffy said digging around in her locker until she produced an invitation "I just happened to have a few extras, just in case. Be at my house at 8 o'clock, and prepare yourselves for fun."

Sue Ellen pocketed the invite and headed off towards class.

* * *

"I trust all of you are doing well on your sugar baby assignments" Ms. Stuart addressed the class.

"Not me" Penny replied "Buster absolutely refuses to do any work."

"Hey, I've got a busy schedule" Buster chimed in, "I can't watch TV and watch a baby at the same time."

"Buster, if you don't do any of the work, then I'm afraid you'll fail the assignment" Ms. Stuart explained.

"And I have never failed an assignment in my life, ever!" Penny said angrily "so you'd better start pulling your weight, or else!"

"All right dear, calm down" Ms. Stuart replied "does anyone else wish to report on their progress?" Binky's hand shot up "yes, Binky?"

"I just wanted to say that me and Leonard are getting the hang of this baby raising thing" Binky said "I was originally worried about being partnered with a dude, but Leonard's great at this, like an actual girl."

That caused the class to break out in laughter until the teacher shushed them.

"It's times like this I wish I was equipped with stealth mode" Leonard said, slinking down in his chair.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, it think it's noble that you take such good care of your baby" Ms. Stuart said "so many men nowadays believe that it's women's work. It's nice to see a change."

"Thank you ma'am" Leonard said from under his desk.

"Now remember, on Monday, all of you will be interviewed about how well you've treated your baby in the past week" Ms. Stuart explained "you will be judged on how well it was cared for, and how much work both partners put into it. Remember, one of you can't do all the work or you won't get an overall grade."

"Was that directed towards me?" Buster asked.

"It was directed towards everyone" Ms. Stuart explained "but mostly you. Class dismissed, and have a good weekend."

* * *

After school, Arthur & Sue Ellen took their usual route back to the Read house

"So anyway, it's my day to watch Susie again" Sue Ellen said "did you bring her with you?"

"Yeah, hold on" Arthur said. He took off his backpack, unzipped it, and produced the bag of sugar "here you go."

"What is wrong with you?!" Sue Ellen asked angrily "you can't keep a baby in a backpack! It could suffocate!"

"Somehow, I don't think that's going to be a problem" Arthur pointed out.

"Are you okay little baby?" Sue Ellen ignored him, cradling the bag "it's okay, mommy's here. Honestly Arthur, you need to be more careful with poor Susie. What kind of example are you setting for her?"

"For the love of Pete Sue Ellen, it's just a stupid bag of sugar!" Arthur shouted "it's not a real baby, so stop treating it like one!"

Arthur watched as tears began to develop in his girlfriend's eyes.

"How could you say such a thing about your own child?!" she asked angrily.

"It's not my child, or our child, or whatever. It's just a bag of sugar we were given for an assignment in health class" Arthur explained "I know we're supposed to treat it like an actual baby, but I really think you've taken this way too far. Naming it was one thing, but you've gotten baby fever or something."

"Well, if that's the way you feel, then Susie and I are out of here!" Sue Ellen said, as she stormed off, tears still streaming down her face.

"Sue Ellen, wait" Arthur watched the girl walk off, until suddenly, she turned around and marched back towards him.

"I forgot, I'm going to Muffy's slumber party tonight, so you'll have to watch Susie" she said, thrusting the bag in to Arthur's arms "that is, if she doesn't disgust you!"

Sue Ellen then ran off in the direction of her house, crying. Arthur looked at her go, then down at the decorated bag of sugar in his hands.

"Well, I guess it's just you and me" he said "great, now she's got me doing it!"

* * *

Several minutes later, the still crying Sue Ellen arrived at her house and threw herself on her bed. Hearing the commotion, Lisa came in to check on her friend.

"Are you okay?"

"No, Arthur and I had a fight."

"What about?"

"Our sugar baby" Sue Ellen said "Arthur said I was crazy for naming it and cuddling it and everything else. He said it wasn't his child."

"Technically, he's right" Lisa replied.

"Whose side are you on?" Sue Ellen asked between tears.

"I'm not on anyone's side" Lisa explained "you and Arthur are both my friends, and I don't want this to come between you."

"Well I think I need a little time away from Arthur" Sue Ellen said "speaking of which, Muffy gave you an invitation to her slumber party tonight. It starts at eight."

"I have to say, I'm a little excited" Lisa said "the last slumber party I went to wasn't exactly a great memory."

* * *

Lisa recalled a few years earlier when she attended a slumber party hosted by Sherri & Terri. Alison, Janey, Alex Taylor and a few other girls from school were also in attendance.

"Let's play 'Truth or Dare'" Sherri suggested "you first Lisa."

"Okay, truth, I guess."

"Do you…like being hit with pillows?" Terri asked.

"Not really, no" Lisa replied.

"Too bad" both girls said as they began buffeting her with pillow blows.

"What kind of party game is this?"

"Our favorite game, 'Whack the nerd'" Sherri replied.

* * *

"Don't worry, we usually don't have pillow fights" Sue Ellen explained, her tears now gone "and when we do, we usually gang up on Muffy or Francine."

"Sounds fun" Lisa said "and this is just the thing you need to get your mind off Arthur for a while."

"I guess" Sue Ellen said, followed by a resigned sigh.

* * *

In the next chapter, Muffy throws her slumber party, filled with 'Truth or Dare', and lots of boy bashing. Plus, Maggie bonds with a friend in Elwood City.


	6. Slumber Party Massacre 'not really'

Later that night, Arthur had gone over to Buster's to hang out.

"Hey Arthur, you ready to party?" he asked "I just got the newest _Super Gambino Brothers _game. But I'm only renting it, so we can only play it for a few more hours."

"Sure, but is there somewhere I can put my, um, baby" he asked, holding up the bag of sugar.

"Sure, he can go in my room with my baby" Buster said.

Arthur followed his friend to his bedroom, and saw Buster had put the bag of sugar on his bed "here, they can play together, or something" he said, placing 'Susie' next to his bag.

"Come on, it's time to smash some weird mushroom-like monsters" Buster added, as he and Arthur headed to the living room.

"What do you think the girls are doing right now?" Arthur asked, as Buster booted up the Prentendo Mee system.

"Who cares, this is a girl free zone" Buster said "from now on, you're forbidden to talk about, mention, or think about girls while in the zone."

"I just need to know if Sue Ellen is still mad at me" Arthur said "we had a huge fight earlier today and I haven't heard from her."

"I said no thinking about girls" Buster replied "come on, I'll let you play as Guido. He's the lesser brother, but still has important and valuable skills, kind of like me."

"You're right Buster, this is a guys night between just the two of us" Arthur said "I'm just going to forget about Sue Ellen and have a good time."

"If you had just said that 5 years ago, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

* * *

Meanwhile, over in the Crosswire mansion, all the girls were arriving for Muffy's annual slumber party.

"Wow, Muffy really outdid herself this year" Francine commented "and that's a challenge for her."

"Greetings my friends, I'm glad you could all come" Muffy said, greeting her guests. The young girl was wearing little but a lace nightie, which made some of the girls in attendance feel uncomfortable.

"It's great to see all of you, including you Maria" Muffy said to the nearby blonde rabbit girl.

"I'm just glad to be invited" Maria replied "usually, I'm in the background, and you guys just ignore me and never let me say…"

"Francine, so glad you could make it" Muffy interrupted.

"Nice choice of …um, sleepwear" Francine commented.

"Well, I am thirteen now, after all" Muffy explained "and pajamas are a bit childish."

"I still wear pajamas Muffy."

"I didn't mean they were childish for everyone, just me" Muffy explained "anyway, I have a great night planned for all of you. First, we're going to watch all of the _Dream School Musical _movies. They're the special editions that allow you to sing along with the songs"

"I'm not really into _Dream School Musical_" Lisa piped up "could I just read a book instead?"

"No, it's my party and we do what I decide" Muffy said "now girls, prepare to drool over Derek Montaigne and his beautiful hair."

After the movies ended (thankfully), the girls gathered in Muffy's bedroom, where she decided to play a game of "Truth or Dare."

"Okay Lisa, since you're new here, you can be first" Muffy said "truth, or dare?"

"Hmm, which is less embarrassing?" Lisa pondered "I guess if I'm forced to choose, I'll have to say…dare."

"Okay, I dare you to…" Muffy paused as she thought up a suitable dare "kiss Sue Ellen."

"What? No way!" Lisa exclaimed.

"Well then you have to pay the penalty."

"Muffy, isn't this game a tad childish?" Lisa asked "what's next, makeovers and hair braiding? Surely girls as old as we are can entertain ourselves in a more mature and…"

Lisa was interrupted when Sue Ellen planted a kiss right on her lips, to the surprise of everyone in attendance. After the girl broke away, Lisa sputtered for a few moments before responding.

"What the hell?!"

"Oh relax Lisa, it was all for the dare" Sue Ellen explained "we both have boyfriends after all. It's not like I have feelings for you or anything."

"Yes, of course" Lisa replied "and even if you did, I would not reciprocate them, but would accept your decision to have them."

"Good to know" Sue Ellen replied.

"Okay Sue Ellen, since you did the dare, you get to go next" Muffy explained.

"I will take, truth."

"All right then. Truth… do you have a crush on anyone besides Arthur?"

"Well…" Sue Ellen thought "I'd be lying if I said I didn't think Eric Duane from _Grey's Body _was smoking hot. They call him 'McPretty' for a reason."

"How very true" Muffy said "however, I was thinking of somebody here in Elwood City."

"No, I've never been into any other guys" Sue Ellen replied "although, I think George had a little crush on me back in 3rd grade, on account of how I was so nice to him."

"George? My George?" Jenna asked, a tinge of anger in her tone.

"Don't get mad, it was nothing" Sue Ellen explained "and anyway, I don't know for sure he even did like me. It's just sometimes, boys react to kindness from girls as a sign of affection."

"That's true" Lisa added "if I had a nickel for everytime Milhouse mistook one of my acts of kindness for a romantic overtone, I'd be quite wealthy."

"Okay, I guess I did get a little carried away" Jenna replied "it's just, I was worried about George being attracted to you because you're so…well, pretty."

"That's very nice of you to say, but you don't have to worry. I'm happy with Arthur, and anyway, George is totally into you."

"Well, this proved to be less scandalous then I hoped" Muffy interrupted "so now its' time for an old slumber party favorite; pillow fights."

"Do we really have to?" Lisa asked "I mean, how many modern slumber parties even do that anymore? I say, we blaze a trail and put aside the degrading…" her speech was cut off when Francine hit her in the face with a pillow.

"Okay, that's it, you're going down!" Lisa shouted, grabbing a pillow and aiming for the monkey girl.

* * *

Elsewhere, back at the Read house, two old friends were catching up.

"I'm so glad to finally meet you again" Kate told Maggie, as both sat on the couch "I haven't seen you since we were both babies. So, what have you been up to?"

"Not much, the usual crazy stuff" Maggie explained.

"Yes, I hear your family has all sorts of crazy adventures" Kate said "you're so lucky!"

"Well at least your family knows who you are" Maggie replied "if I had a dime for everytime my dad thought I was Lisa, I'd have…well, I'm not great at math, but it would be a lot."

"Hey, you want to have a slumber party?" Kate asked "I've never had one, and I heard Muffy and the other girls are at one."

"Okay, Lisa lets me come to hers all the time" Maggie said, "let's go to your room."

The two young girls headed up to the room Kate shared with her sister, only to find it currently occupied.

"What do you two want?" D.W asked.

"Maggie and I were going to have a slumber party, like Muffy."

"Sorry, but you can't use this room. Emily and I are having our own party."

"Can we join?"

"I guess, but you have to do everything I say"

"Deal."

* * *

Since I realized I'm woefully inept at writing slumber parties, we'll leave it there for now. In the final chapter, the projects are due, and Arthur & Sue Ellen have a heart to heart about things.


	7. Baby, take me back

The next morning, in class, the kid presented their reports to Ms. Stuart.

"Raising this sugar baby was much easier than I had expected" Muffy said "I'm glad I decided not to pass the job on to a nanny."

"If you had, you would've lost points" Ms. Stuart explained.

"Anyway, as you can see, my baby is healthy, or as healthy as a bag of sugar can be anyway" Muffy replied "even my partner was surprisingly helpful."

"Hey, I ain't gonna let the baby grow up with no dad" Robert said "what kind of cruel dude do you think I am?"

"Very good, both of you" Mr. Stuart said, "Binky and Leonard, would you two like to go next?"

The two teens made their way to the front of the class "when we were first partnered together on this assignment, I was a bit worried" Binky said "but after the initial shock, me and Leonard worked together to take care of our little bundle of joy. And I learned that two dudes can raise a child together; not my thing, but I don't have a problem with it."

"I'm glad to hear it" Ms. Stuart said "in fact, I intentionally partnered the two of you up, in hopes that you'd learn what many same-sex couples go through, and perhaps develop a better understanding of them."

"Mission accomplished, ma'am."

"Excellent" Ms. Stuart said "I can see that all of you have learned a little more about responsibility, which I can only hope will help you later in your lives."

"Does this mean the rest of us don't have to give our reports?" Buster asked.

"Oh, I never said that."

* * *

After class, the kids went to their lockers; after Sue Ellen took the books out of hers and shut the door, she saw a familiar face.

"Look, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry" Arthur said "I made a big deal over this whole sugar baby thing and that was wrong. I guess I just didn't take the project as seriously as you did, but that doesn't excuse my behavior, I know. So, can you forgive me?"

Sue Ellen sighed "Arthur, do you know why I reacted to the sugar baby the way I did?"

"You wanted a good grade?"

"No. It's because this whole project made me think about being a mother someday."

"But that's years off yet. We still haven't graduated from middle school."

"I know" Sue Ellen replied "but holding that thing in my arms, and pretending it was a kid, I guess some maternal instincts in me just kicked in. Maybe it's just a girl thing, I don't know."

"Why didn't you just tell me this to begin with?"

"It never came up. Then we had that big fight, and we didn't see each other…" the girl paused "thanks for what you said. You know I hate fighting with you."

"I hate it too."

"So, are you coming over later? Lisa and Maggie are leaving and I'm seeing them off."

"Sure" Arthur replied "I hope they enjoyed their visit."

"Lisa did" Sue Ellen told him "I don't think Maggie was really thrilled."

"Kate told me the two of them had quite the party last night" Arthur added "I'm not sure of the exact details, but D.W said she was never inviting them to a slumber party again. Speaking of which, how was your party?"

"You know I'm not allowed to tell you anything that happened at the party" Sue Ellen explained "I swore an oath to the sisterhood."

"Maybe you'll let the secrets out if I tickle them out of you" Arthur said, before he began to tickle her.

"Ha ha ha stop it Arthur!" Sue Ellen yelled.

"Tell me what happened."

"Never!"

"Then I'll keep tickling you until you do!"

He continued to tickle Sue Ellen and she continued to laugh, until Arthur realized that a large majority of the student body was looking at them.

"What, you've never seen someone be tickled before?"

* * *

After school, Arthur, Kate, & Sue Ellen gathered at the Armstrong house to say goodbye to their out of town friends.

"Thanks for the visit Lisa" Sue Ellen said, as she hugged her friend "it's too bad our movie wasn't chosen for Sundance though."

"Hey, we had only four actors and no budget, we should be thankful they bothered to look at it" Lisa replied "anyway, I had a great time. I'll try to visit the next time Muffy has a party; maybe I can make it an annual thing."

"I'm sure the girls would like that."

"I'm glad we had a chance to hang out, even if it was only for a little while" Kate told Maggie.

"Me too. Is your sister still mad about what I did to her doll?" Maggie asked "because in all fairness, Bart taught me that."

"She's still a little sore, that's why she didn't come" Kate explained "I'm still surprised you talked me into using water guns on them."

"That was fun" Maggie said "anyway, if she ever lets us come to another slumber party, I promise I won't do that…probably."

"Goodbye Arthur, Kate" Lisa said hugging each as she said their names "you take care of yourselves."

"We will" Kate replied.

"Say hi to Bart for me" Arthur added.

"I will. Well, I had a wonderful time, and it was so much fun spending a week here with you. My fondest hope is that…"

HONK! "Lisa, hurry up, we gotta leave now if we're gonna beat traffic!" Homer shouted from the car.

"Okay dad!" Lisa shouted back. "Farewell my friends, until providence causes us to once again cross each other's paths" the girl said, before grabbing her suitcase and running towards the car, with Maggie following behind.

"Bye, so long!" the three said from the porch of the Armstrong home, waving before the Simpsons' familiar car pulled away.

"Things sure are interesting whenever she's around" Sue Ellen commented.

"Maybe a little too interesting" Arthur added.

After watching the car disappear into the distance, the three headed back inside the house, knowing that there would be more adventures waiting for them.


End file.
